Teach People How To Treat You Better!

According to Dr. Phil, "We teach people how to treat us." Let that sink in for a moment. Rephrase it and repeat it a couple times to yourself. "I teach people how to treat me." Maybe you're thinking, my life isn't perfect and maybe once in a while an argument gets heated, but I'm doing alright.

But think for a moment about how people really do treat you. How does your spouse or significant other talk to you or about you? Do you feel supported and like you are both on the same team? What about your dad? Your ex? Do you walk on eggshells or tip toe around certain issues to avoid an argument? Think about nicknames people use for you, is there one you don't really like but you just let it go?

Are there things that any of them say that are a little on the edge of being rude? How do you react when this happens? Do you stop it, leave the room as if you didn't hear it, or just keep quiet? They may call you "big mama" referring to your extra weight but they frame it as "an inside joke". Do you laugh with them? Or do you ask them not to use that reference for you again?

What about your children? How do they talk to you? How do they behave toward you? Do they yell at you, try to hit you, push, ignore you, or kick at you when they don't get their way? Do you chalk this up to "just a tantrum" or do you discipline them for it? Do they show appreciation or just demand or expect you to cook, clean, and drive them to/from activities?

Think about other people in your life such as co-workers, friends, and relatives. Maybe they joke about "you and your book smarts", refer to your "hillbilly" accent, comment that you "run or throw like a girl", or ask "when are you going to just get a real job?" How do you respond? Does it feel like your co-workers or your boss value your contributions? Have you been corrected or yelled at by a boss or co-worker in front of other employees or customers?

As you think about how each of these types of people treat you, try to identify any patterns between them. For example, do both your husband and your in-laws make fun of the type of job that you have? Is there a running joke with your in-laws and your friends about your house being featured on the next TV episode of Hoarders or How Clean is your House?

Or maybe you have a friend or several friends that seem to imply that being a stay at home mom is not important or the fact that you work full-time and have your kids in daycare is not right. Maybe it's a co-worker who rolls their eyes every time you get a phone call from your kids who are at home.

Does this mean you are to blame for people treating you badly? Absolutely not. You are only responsible for what you knew when you knew it. And each person is ultimately responsible for their own behavior. But the good news is that now that you do know, you absolutely can teach most people how to treat you better!

The way that you teach people how to respect you or in some cases teach people how to treat you better is by first creating a very clear picture for yourself about what kind of behavior or treatment you will accept, how you express this to others, and how you respond if the poor treatment continues.

In order to set clear limits about how others treat you, it's important for you to first commit to some firm guidelines about how YOU treat yourself and others. The better you get at taking care of yourself, the harder it will be for you to tolerate disrespect from others. You also have to treat others well. The old adage, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" should be your new mantra.

We teach people how to treat us, yes. But that doesn't mean that everyone who behaves badly toward us is an evil person. They may not even be aware of how their treatment makes you feel. And you definitely contribute to that if you don't let them know how their behavior impacts you. They don't know what they don't know either. And if they do know they are hurting you, all the more reason for you to put a stop to it now.

So now that you know you can teach people to treat you better, the next step is to learn more about how to set firm boundaries and how to express yourself in an assertive way. With a little practice, you will be able to send a clear message to folks that you respect yourself and won't allow anyone to violate that in the way they treat you. There are several ways you can learn to set boundaries and stand up for yourself including self-help books, community education classes, or by getting the help of a life coach who specializes in this area. Contact us today!

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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How to Get over Your Fear of Public Speaking

At some point in your business career, you’re going to need to start presenting and selling to crowds. You’re going to need to learn how to influence groups of people.

Most importantly, you will need to communicate the value of what you’re offering in such a way that at the end, the crowd is pulling out their credit cards ready to buy.

It’s one of the most powerful skills you can possess as an entrepreneur, and it’s what separates the top earners from the masses. But for a lot of people, just the thought of speaking to an audience (let alone selling) terrifies them.


And you know what? I get it.

See, in high school and college, when the teacher said “Class, we’re going to do an oral assignment,” my heart immediately started pounding from anxiety. I was the guy who’d mysteriously be sick on the day it was due, unable to make it to class. Some years later, I got into internet marketing (late 2008) and I remember going to a live event in the suburbs of Perth with about 100 other strangers.

There were five different speakers who got up on stage and pitched their direct sales business, which I’d been looking at joining for a few weeks. I left that event feeling completely deflated: “If this is what it takes to be successful in this industry—getting up on stage and delivering live sales presentations—,” I thought, “then I have absolutely no hope!”

For years after I started my business, I avoided delivering live sales presentations at all costs. You couldn’t even get me to do a webinar, even though I’d be able to hide behind my computer.

Eventually, the loss in potential income that this avoidance was causing me began to outweigh my fear. So I forced myself to start doing public sales presentations. No matter how uncomfortable I felt, I’d consciously put myself in a position where I had no other choice but to deliver the presentation.

Since then, I’ve sold tens of millions of dollars worth of programs through public presentations.

Chances are that you will also need to sell to a live audience at some point. Here are the four most important lessons I’ve learned, which may help make it easier for you:
Don’t Write and Memorize a Script

What’s everyone’s greatest fear about speaking in front of others? It’s that when they get up there, they’ll forget what to say, that their brain will freeze and they’ll mumble and stumble and otherwise look like a fool.

So what do most people do? They write a script. If you write it down and memorize it, then you won’t have to be quick on your feet and your speech will become some sort of reflex or muscle memory. It’ll be as easy as hitting play on your iPod. Or so goes the theory.

I don’t recommend this approach for anyone because when you memorize a speech, your presentation ends up sounding stiff and rehearsed. It’s less likely to connect with your audience, which means you’re also less likely to make sales.
Use the “Table of Contents” Method

Think of your presentation as being a story you tell your audience. But instead of writing and memorizing an entire story, your notes will be more like a story’s table of contents—a couple of lines to remind you of what the entire “chapter” is about, so you don’t have to memorize a lot of material.

So, think of all the points you want to cover and then create a PowerPoint with just a line or two of notes on each slide.

Then, start practicing but instead of just reading off the slides, you should elaborate on each point and then fill in the talk off the top of your head. The first time around, you’ll find yourself starting and stopping, with a bunch of awkward pauses and do-overs. Don’t worry, take a break and go back to it. Try a few sessions throughout the day and let the ideas and different turns of phrases percolate a bit.

By the end of the day, you’ll find that you’ve more or less memorized the speech, but in a much more organic way than if you had memorized it word for word. It won’t necessarily be exactly the same each time you make the presentation, but that’s okay. You’ll know how to transition between each slide and you’ll give a more natural, authentic and truly live presentation.
Learn to Let Go

Whenever I feel uncomfortable about an upcoming talk, it’s often because there’s a particular point in it or a slide with something on it that I don’t feel 100% on board with. It may also be something that I’m trying to get a certain reaction from the crowd with. Sometimes it’s just the phrasing of something. For instance, a friend who listens to your talk may zero in on something they think the audience will misunderstand (though you know that only a fraction of the audience will likely be affected).

What should you do with these thoughts about how your talk will be interpreted? Forget ’em. Let go of the minutiae and share what you have. It’s about how you say it and not necessarily what you say. So don’t let the actual phrasing stress you out.
PowerPoint Doesn’t Give the Presentation

It may be a tempting “security blanket” to fill your PowerPoint slides with content and then read it word for word to your audience.

That will only be slightly less exciting for your audience as hearing a memorized speech. It’s annoying and also implies that they are not smart enough to read the slides for themselves.

Don’t do it.

Instead, put a little bit of info on each slide and make the font size large. Then focus on your delivery and engage your crowd directly.

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