Start With Desire

"Desire is the starting point of all achievement." Napoleon Hill.

Hill was not talking about an interest, a hope, or a wish for something. He was talking about a burning desire for something that exceeds any other longing.

If you do not have that desire yet for a specific thing then just start with a desire to be successful.

Once you resolve to be successful, start your self-improvement while you search for a specific goal.

That search should consider work that pleases you, a lifestyle that makes you happy, and achievement of a goal that makes you proud.

Depending on your interests, you might have more than one type of work that pleases you. Think about the alternatives in relation to the type of lifestyle each offers or requires.

Let's say that you have the skills to play professional baseball. Yet, you love the idea of spending lots of time with your wife and children. Do the two match? From what little I know, major league baseball players spend a lot of time during the season away from home. And the season could be six months long. Would that be a good match for you, or not?

There seem to be a number of higher level jobs that demand of lot of time spent working. And that work is mostly away from home.

Each of us is different. You might be willing to sacrifice lots of family time in order to be proud that you are a professional athlete, a Wall Street leader, or a high-priced lawyer.

Choosing one area that meets the three criteria I listed and creates a burning desire might not be easy. You must look at all the ideals you have for your life. Then you have to weigh the options in which you might be able to maintain those ideals while choosing a type of work, a lifestyle, and a way to be proud of yourself.

Depending on where you already are in life, perhaps you cannot find a choice that is perfect. If you are already a parent with children can you still choose to be a professional athlete? Holding to one value might prohibit selecting another.

Back to Napoleon Hill's quote. Once you have the desire to be successful, then find a goal for which you can have a burning desire because, overall, that goal gives you the best chance of preserving your ideals and making you happy.

When you have finally found your extraordinary goal spend time daily imagining the details of your happy life and feeling the pride of achievement.

This imagination will fuel the fire for your goal. As your imagination of a proud and happy life intensifies, so will your desire. And continued imagination will cause your desire to burn.

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Overcome Worry And Be Less Anxious

Everyone worries. But at times our lives bog down with too much worry, which impacts appetite, lifestyle, relationships, sleep, and job performance.

Worry really offers little benefit to life, so if we look at causes and prescriptions for worry our it becomes manageable.

People often worry because they enjoy it. They have a need to live with daily drama. Constant worry meters out doses of drama on an "as needed basis" and this seems normal. By dramatically acting out life issues big or small, these people stay on center stage with sympathy as their needed applause.

Uncertainty is another catalyst. The uncertainty of jobs, bills, debts, children, life changes, etc punches our worry button. People often don't react well to changes brought on by normal life uncertainties.

But, change is a partner in life and may allow good to things happen. Take note, Charles Darwin's research indicated that it's not the strongest nor most intelligent that survive, but those who are most responsive to change.

Lack of knowledge or skills creates anxiety. Being in a position where we feel "in over our heads" is worrisome. Being out of the comfort zone is tough for everyone. But, the fact is you either climb your own way up to speed in knowledge and skills, or you change your surroundings.

Another contributor to worry is the lack of control. We all need some control. Even a toddler does things to exert control in an adult's life.

We really may have more control than we realize and just don't recognize it. But, there will always be things beyond our control and we must learn to function as things are.

Our upbringing and past life experiences will also foster anxiety. Parents have been known to create worry filled homes with an odd child called anxiety. Research indicates that we're molded by our social environments and tend to mimic them.

Worry may come from past trauma or negative experiences. Accidents, illness, or personal witness to bad events causes anxiety. These may be justifiable causes but stick with us just the same.

Even with so many prompts for worry, it's not as difficult to curb as you might think. But, you need the desire to change your life, and you do need to work at it.

Turning to ideas for managing worry, Winston Churchill reflecting back on his own troubles found that many never really happened. Shakespeare gives another clue when he wrote, "to thine own self, be true".

Honest self-reflection is a good step toward managing anxiety and counseling opens a door to personal discovery. The more clarity we gain the more quickly we move toward positive ground.

We have natural tendencies toward vagueness and generalization. Along with counseling, sharing with a trusted family member or close friend, or even a personal worry diary can help clarify issues.

Guarding against falling into the "what if trap" is a necessary for worry management. Conjuring "what if" scenarios is of little value since most of the plots we create rarely happen. So instead of imagining things that may never happen, eliminate the "what if's".

Find ways to embrace the uncertainty of life. At times, life is a great venture. At times, it requires problem-solving. At times, it totally stumps us. But, each moment in life inevitably happens with little predictability. Worry doesn't change this.

Start an exercise program. Walk, bike, swim, jog, stretch, etc. Exercise goes a long way toward eliminating stress and anxiety. A moderate daily routine of exercise will boost your mental health.

Finally, worry does little good, fixes nothing, and causes anxiety. Self-understanding is central to living a worry free life. So, embrace life, be honest with yourself and worry less.

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5 Benefits You Will Experience Once You Become Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

As human beings, we often view “stress” as a dirty word. We try to avoid it at all costs. But sometimes a little bit of healthy stress can push us forward out of our comfort zones and into extreme success.

One of the most detrimental things you can do for your career, business or life is stay too long in a place where you are comfortable. Personal and professional growth will inevitably make you uncomfortable, but that discomfort shouldn’t stop you. After all, a certain amount of stress and discomfort is required if you want to reach your full potential.
Here are five key benefits you will experience once you become comfortable being uncomfortable:

1. You will let go of perfection

No one is perfect. Once you embrace the power of feeling uncomfortable in life, you will let go of all the unnecessary pressure to be something you cannot be. You will lose the fear that has been holding you back from trying something new.

You will no longer be a prisoner to the fear of failure because you are ok with failing from time to time. Failure and rejection are a given, but once you accept and embrace it, you will welcome imperfection and all of the life lessons it brings with it.


“Beauty and ingenuity beat perfection hands down, every time.” – Nalo Hopkinson 

2. The risks you take will teach you about yourself

The more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable, the more aware you will become of what you are truly capable of. You never know how strong you actually are if you never try anything new.

You will want to reach new heights and will be more willing to take risks at something without knowing whether you will succeed. It will not matter if the result turns out good or bad. You will learn because you took the risk and bet on yourself, and you will improve for next time.

3. You will be more productive

When it comes to productivity, comfort is the enemy. Without a sense of discomfort, it is human nature to procrastinate or do the least amount we can to get by. Inside of our comfort zones, all of our drive and ambition is stalled. Pushing beyond personal boundaries will help you get more done in less time because it motivates you to succeed.

4. You will harness your creativity

Seeking new life experiences and learning new skills inspires us to learn more and challenge our old ideas. Creativity is intrinsically risky, but risks will no longer scare you. Uncomfortable experiences will push you to see problems from a new perspective and tackle challenges with a new and fresh energy.

5. Uncomfortable eventually becomes comfortable

Stepping out of your comfort zone and getting uncomfortable in life ultimately helps you deal with sudden and unexpected change. You will become accustomed to a certain level of productive discomfort, and it will become easier to challenge yourself because you now look at things differently.

Change will no longer frighten you. In fact, you will embrace change because you know that it improves you. Your comfort zone will expand, and the number of things that cause you fear will diminish.
How to get comfortable with being uncomfortable

If you continue to operate as you are right now, you will continue to get the same results you currently get. If you want more from life, the only solution is to do something you have never done. It is time to get uncomfortable. Here is how to start today:

1. Determine what makes you uncomfortable

What are the things that you are afraid to do because of a fear of failure? What is driving your fear of that situation? Identify the boundaries of your comfort zone so that you recognize situations that fall outside of it.

2. Set goals

In order to achieve goals, you have to step outside your comfort zone. Figure out what it is you want out of life. Visualize yourself there. How does it feel? What steps do you need to take to get to your end goal? What new skills will you require? Write it all down. Your goals are what will ultimately motivate you to take a chance on yourself.


“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Take steps towards the uncomfortable

Make a decision to never run away from discomfort again. Take steps to stay uncomfortable a little longer each time until eventually those uncomfortable situations become comfortable. The first step is always the toughest. As you continue taking steps, you will build momentum, and it will become easier to continue forward movement. So seek opportunities to reach out beyond your personal boundaries every day.

Everything amazing about life happens outside of your comfort zone. When you push yourself beyond that safety net, you can achieve goals in life that you never thought you were capable of.

Becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable can help you conquer your world and get everything you want in life. Refuse to settle for what you have and continuously push the limits in order to achieve immense success and happiness. The only thing standing in your way is yourself.
How do you stay positive about your business? We’d love to hear! Leave your thoughts and tips in the comments below!

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Moving Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Many professionals have attained a high level of competence in their particular fields. They have learned a lot in their careers and they have a good sense of what works and what doesn't. Some individuals have become so good at what they do that they can successfully perform their jobs "with their eyes closed." These people are operating within their comfort zones.

While operating within your comfort zone is safe, it does not give you the opportunity to grow in your career. You may be good at what you do, but if you continue to do things in the same way, your job may have a tendency to be boring. It may no longer offer you a challenge. Only by trying new things can you get your creative juices flowing and experience the thrill of reaching new heights of achievement.

Trying new things does entail some risks. When you try something new you may experience a sense of discomfort. This comes from not being completely sure of what will lead to success. You will also very likely make mistakes along the way -- sometimes many mistakes. However, most of us don't like to make mistakes. We may be concerned about reactions from others. When we have achieved a level of competence in our jobs, we enjoy admiration from others. But as we make mistakes during the process of learning something new, we run the risk of looking foolish to others and feeling embarrassed.

The way to deal with this inevitable part of the learning process is to look at mistakes as feedback. They are letting you know when you need to use a different strategy to accomplish something. They are learning guideposts, which let you know what you should continue doing and what you should change. Extraordinarily successful people in every field have made lots of mistakes -- that's how they became extraordinary. And if someone is "kind enough" to bring to your attention that you've made a mistake say, "I know. Isn't it great? Now I don't have to do it again." It will totally change that individual's reaction to the situation.

Trying new things does offer wonderful payoffs. When you try something new and you persist at it, you usually become very good at it. In addition to having acquired a new skill, you can then experience the exhilaration of having faced a challenge and succeeding.

So make a commitment to move beyond your comfort zone. Only by doing so can you move closer to becoming the best you can possibly be.

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7 Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success

Lasting motivation is possible once you adopt an outlook that allows you to be more successful. Here are seven tips you can use today to overcome procrastination and start achieving much more.

1. Success is not achieved accidentally. It is a systematic, deliberate process of deciding what you want to do with your life, what you will do when you get there, and what the steps are to get you where you want to be.

One of the most important aspects of success is the ability to visualize your path and stay focused on your goal until you reach it.

2. The sooner you envision your dreams and develop a plan to turn them into reality, the faster you will accomplish your goals.

Mental pictures are a mechanism to lead you down the path of true independence and motivation. Procrastination is a self-defeating behavior that develops in part due to low self-esteem and fear of failure.

Your imagination is like a preview of your future. If you don*t use your imagination your life will remain mundane and unfulfilling.

3. Overcoming procrastination is the first step in helping you create the lifestyle you desire. You must change the habits and behaviors that led you to procrastinate in the first place.

Change is a slow process so be sure to reward yourself along the way for small achievements. Instead of focusing on the difficulty of a large task, break it into smaller jobs and create a timeline for finishing them.

4. Several small jobs done over time are much more manageable that one large task with no end in sight. You*ll be astonished at how much you can get done if you concentrate on one thing at a time instead of cluttering your mind with multiple tasks.

Try tackling the more undesirable tasks early in the day so that by afternoon you can pursue more pleasant activities.

5. Relieve yourself of the pressure created by clutter in your office or home. Develop a filing system, rid yourself of unnecessary papers, and give yourself an organized place to work.

When you exercise self-discipline in your surroundings as well as your behaviors, you will make major strides in accomplishing your goals in a shorter period of time. No matter what is happening around you, keep your mind focused on the reward you*ll receive by reaching your goals.

6. If people or outside forces distract you, use the power of the human mind to block out what impedes your progress and concentrate solely on the task at hand. You will make remarkable progress by refusing to let others alter the path you have chosen.

Overcoming procrastination and staying motivated is the way to lifetime success and happiness. You*ll achieve your goals rapidly when you stay focused on your destination and the rewards that will follow.

7. Review your habits and way of thinking to determine what you are visualizing most of the time. If your visions do not lead you in the direction of accomplishing your goals, then you must change them.

Discipline yourself to concentrate on your goals the majority of the time, and if you stray from the path, get promptly back on.

Imagine what the rewards will be when you finally reach your destination and keep that thought foremost in your mind.

Procrastination is of no use to you in your quest to fulfill your dreams. Lose those old habits and replace them with habits that lead to self-motivation and control over your life.

Remember this. You can sustain lasting motivation over time once you discover the motivation strategies that are right for you.

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5 Reasons Why You Need to Fail Before Tasting Success

Failure, a word everyone fears. Nobody wants to fail no matter what the field is, what the situation is or who the opposition is. Everyone looks to evade this threatening word.

But, is it really a threat? Or have people made it one?

Since our childhood, we have heard that it is not right to fail, whether it’s your academics, a sporting affair or anything else. Society has created an ecosystem where failure is considered as a curse rather than a blessing.

We are taught to hide our failures from our friends, closed ones and relatives, which let us assume that failure should not happen.


As they say, if you haven’t failed in your life, it means you haven’t tried anything new or you haven’t come out of your comfort zone. And rightly said. Unless you go out of the way to try out new things you’ll not witness failure.


5 Reasons Why You Need to Fail Before Tasting Success

It is important to fail in life. It teaches us some of the incredible life lessons, which not only make you a stronger human being but also bring out the best in you.

People fail and they do fail time after time. Consider examples from the past and you’ll get to know that every successful entrepreneur has failed at least once.

But, what makes them stand apart from the crowd is their dedication, zeal and passion for beating the past, hence, every time they fell, they stood up, fought and eventually succeeded.

It’s important to note that ‘Failure isn’t the end’. Instead, it is a necessary stepping-stone in one’s life before the accomplishment of dreams, desires and hopes.

The startup balloon is continuously inflating where entrepreneurs are trying to leave no stone un-turned in order to achieve the impossible. It is an inevitable fact that startups are prone to failures and only a handful of them, who wish to persistently work on their dreams and goals, are able to rise.

Here are five compelling reasons why failure is necessary:


1. Eradicates the Fear of Failure

Failure scares the s*** out of you. Doesn’t it?

Everyone is scared to fail, lose or stall. But, once you face that situation in your life, you won’t be scared of it anymore. The early you fail in your career or in the journey to building a startup, the better it would be for you to eradicate the fear of the unknown.

Failure is unavoidable. Whether you try or you don’t, failure will come to you in some way or the other. Failing without trying is something like not winning a marathon without participating.



You didn’t try just because you were scared of failing is the lamest thing you’ll ever do in your life. You’ve got a life for a purpose. Dream big, work hard to accomplish your goals and no matter if you fail or lose. At least you’ll be content with your efforts in the end. Plus, you’ll always be one step ahead of those who never tried.

There lies enough thinness in the fact that you will not fail.

You will and once you’ll face the hardship of it, you’ll stand, contest and win because you have to. In the midst of all this chaos, you’ll realize that nothing fell apart and you will emerge as a person who is as brave as a warrior. You’ll be ready to take up any challenge in your life without being afraid of failure.


2. Makes You More Mature

Overcoming a tough phase in life, be it during your startup journey, your love life or your professional life isn’t facile. It requires a lot of strength, focus and will. But, once you are out of it, everything looks bright and shining.

Failure is an experience which lets you learn important life lessons and explore new opportunities, which eventually make you a stronger and more mature person than before. The lessons learnt from any life situation are flexible to implement in different phases of life.

All you need is to identify the crux and gist of the same.


3. Brings Out Your Real Potential

Success can’t be achieved overnight. It is a prolonged process involving your passion, hard work, zeal and dedication along the path you have chosen. Life tests you on every turn. There are hurdles, obstacles and struggles that aren’t avoidable.

You need to cross each one of them to become a winner, which is what lets your real inner potential break free.



You’ll be tested inside and out during the course of the success path and it will only be your positive attitude, zing and passion of how badly you want it. If you hold the power to withstand all the unpredictable notions of life, then you’ll win. Otherwise you’ll fail.

4. Takes You Closer to Perfection

If you fail more than once while thriving to win, then it’s, fortunately, a positive sign. The more attempts you’ll make to cross the ultimate line, the higher the chance of you building a revolutionary product.

With every failed attempt, you’ll thrive to build better. Your efforts are likely to multiply after every failed attempt. It won’t be a surprise if you manage to build an extraordinary product which becomes the first of its kind worldwide.

5. Enhances Your Urge to Achieve

You fail once or you fail twice; but every time you’ll be standing in the middle of a two-way road. One will be pointing you to try again even harder, while the other will be pushing you to switch to another endeavour.

Whatever may be your choice at that instant of time, your urge to achieve will be on a higher side. You’ll want to accomplish your goals, achieve your dreams and make your dream, a reality.


Final words

Since our childhood we have tried to escape failure and look out to people with failures under their belt in the most ungracious way possible. As if failure is a curse.

This is what we are trying to change. Consider failure as a blessing rather than a curse and trust me; the world will become a better place to live in.

If you are passionate about your idea (a startup, a new project or a new venture), you’ll find a way to cross the line.

Millionaires have failed too (not once but quite a few times), they have also switched paths, they have also crossed a road full of barriers, but the difference they made during their journey to success was the inexorable passion for making it large, which they eventually managed to do.

Now it’s your turn to deter failure and rise above all!

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The Top 5 Timeless Tips for Handling the Holiday Stress and Finding Inner Peace

“May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart!”
Eskimo proverb

The holidays are upon us.

A time of needed relaxation and more time with the people closest to us.

A time of stress and worries. A time of not all the joy you may have hoped for or been promised by upbeat advertising and movies.

It can be a time of mixed feelings.

So today I would like to share 5 powerful and timeless tips that can help you to make these holidays a more joyful and peaceful time.

1. Slow down.

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”
Lily Tomlin

First, slow down. Even if it may feel silly and if you have to force it a bit. Slow down your body, move and walk slowly.

Breathe slower and more deeply with your belly (and focus on doing just that for two minutes and see what happens).

Slow down your eating (this will not only help you to relax, it will also help you to not eat too much during the holidays since it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full).

Slow it all down and pay attention to what you are doing. Be here now and focus on doing just one thing at a time. By slowing down, by being here now, by not having your focus split between many things you – your body and your mind – start to relax.

2. Appreciate the little things instead of focusing on perfection.

“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.”
Winnie the Pooh

Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when everything lines up just perfectly then you are making life harder than it needs to be.

Instead, focus on appreciating things that you may take for granted.

Take two minutes and find things in your life you can appreciate now. If you want a handful of suggestions, here are a few of the things that I like to appreciate around the holidays:
All the tasty food.
My health.
My family and friends.
That I have a roof and a warm home as the snow is falling and the cold winds are blowing.
The beautiful wintery landscapes.

3. Give a bit of joy to someone else.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

This may sound like an empty cliché but it surely works. One of the best ways to become happier is simply to make others happier.

When you make someone else happy you can sense, see, feel and hear it. And that happy feeling flows back to you.

And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong there is another upside. People will feel like giving back to you. Or like paying it forward to someone else.

And so the two (or more) of you keep building an upward spiral of for example positivity, of helping out, of cheering up and of lending a listening ear and support.

4. Focus on what is most valuable.

“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.”
Eric Hoffer

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.”
Benjamin Franklin

Instead of focusing on a lot of things focus on what is most important and valuable to you.

If you still have Christmas gifts to buy then instead of giving away a lot of expensive stuff it may be better to give one thing that the person you are giving it to will truly appreciate.

Or maybe you could skip giving a physical thing altogether. And instead give away an experience that will become a special day and cherished memory for him or her or for the two of you.

However you choose to go about things over the holidays make it YOUR choices as best you can and not a bunch of shoulds that mostly make you feel deflated.

5. Just accept how you feel right now.

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”
Carl Jung

Maybe you try some of the tips above. And they still can’t help you to shake that negativity, worries or stress you are carrying around. I would then suggest that you just accept that the feeling is there.

Tell yourself: This is how I feel right now and I accept it.

This might sound counter-intuitive and like you are giving up. However, by accepting how you feel instead of resisting it you reduce the emotional energy that you are feeding into this conflict or problem.

And it then tends to lose speed like a car that runs out of fuel. Sometimes the problem or conflict will then become so weak that it just moves out of your mind.

By accepting what is you have now freed up energy and your attention so your mind can become more level-headed, open and constructive once again. And you can see more clearly and take focused action towards a solution

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7 Common Habits of Unhappy People

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
Marcel Proust

Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. But a part – often a big part – of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behaviour and habits.

In this article I’d like to share 7 of the most destructive daily habits that can create quite a bit of unhappiness within and in your own little world.

But I’ll also share what has worked, what has helped me to minimise or overcome these habits in my life.

1. Aiming for perfection.

Does life has to be perfect before you are happy?

Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy?

Then happiness will not be easy to find. Setting the bar for your performance at an inhuman level usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like you are not good enough even though you may have had a lot of good or excellent results. You and what you do is never enough good enough except maybe once in a while when feels like something goes just perfect.

How to overcome this habit:

Three things that helped me to kick the perfectionism habit and become more relaxed:
Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realise that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.
Have a deadline. I set deadlines every time that start with a new premium guide. Because about a year ago, when I was working on my second e-book, I realised that just working on it and releasing it when it was done would not work. Because I could always find stuff to add to it. So I had to set a deadline. Setting a deadline gave me a kick in the butt and it is generally good way to help you to let go of a need to polish things a bit too much.
Realise what it costs you when you buy into myths of perfection.This was a very powerful reason for me to let go of perfectionism and one I tell myself still if I find thoughts of perfection pop up in my mind. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.
But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you. It can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.

2. Living in a sea of negative voices.

No one is an island. Who we socialise with, what we read, watch and listen to has big effect on how we feel and think.

It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be dragged down by negative voices. Voices that tell you that life will in large part always be unhappy, dangerous and filled with fear and limits. Voices that watch life from a negative perspective.

How to overcome this habit:

Replacing those negative voices with more positive influences is very powerful. It can be like a whole new world opening up.

So spend more time with positive people, inspiring music and books, movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in a new way.

You can start small. For example, try reading an uplifting blog or book or listen to an audio book while eating your breakfast one morning this week instead of reading the paper or watching the morning news on TV.

3. Getting stuck in the past and future too much.

Spending much of your time in the past and reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities and so on can hurt whole lot. Spending much of your time in the future and imagining how things could go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can build into horrifying nightmare scenarios playing over and over in your head. Not being here right now in life as it happens can lead to missing out on a lot of wonderful experiences.

No good if you want to be happier.

How to overcome this habit:

It is pretty much impossible to not think about the past or the future. And it is of course important to plan for tomorrow and next year and to try to learn from your past.

But to dwell on those things rarely help.

So I try as best as I can to spend the rest of my time, the big part of my time each day, with living in the now. Just being here right now and being fully focused on these words I am writing and later as I cook and eat my lunch and work out be fully focused on doing that.

Whatever I am doing I try to be there fully and not drift off into the future or past.

If I do drift off then I focus only on my breathing for a few minutes or I sit still and take in what is all around me right now with all my senses for a short while. By doing either of those things I can realign myself with the present moment again.

4. Comparing yourself and your life to others and their lives.
One very common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings.

How to overcome this habit:

Replace that destructive habit with two other habits.
Compare yourself to yourself. First, instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.
You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.
Be kind. In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge and criticise people more and you tend to judge and criticise yourself more (often almost automatically). Be more kind to other people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.
Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you. Appreciate what is positive in yourself and others. This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind.

And remember, you can’t win if you keep comparing. Just consciously realising this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

5. Focusing on the negative details in life.

Seeing the negative aspects of whichever situation you are in and dwelling on those details is a sure way to make yourself unhappy. And to drag down the mood for everyone around you.

How to overcome this habit:

Overcoming this habit can be tricky. One thing that has worked for me is to kick the perfectionism habit. You accept that things and situations will have their upsides and downsides rather than thinking that all details have to positive and excellent. You accept things as they are. This way you can let go emotionally and mentally of what is negative instead of dwelling on it and making mountains out of molehills.

Another thing that works is simply to focus on being constructive. Instead of focusing on dwelling and whining about the negative detail. You can do so by asking better questions. Questions like:

How can I turn this negative thing into something helpful or positive?
How can I solve this problem?

If I am faced with what I start thinking is a problem I may use a third solution, I may ask myself: who cares? I most often then realise that this isn’t really a problem in the long run at all.

6. Limiting life because you believe the world revolves around you.

If you think that the world revolves around you and you hold yourself back because you are afraid what people may think or say if you do something that different or new then you are putting some big limits on your life. How?

Well, you can become less open to trying new things and growing.You can think that the criticism and negativity you encounter is about you or that it is your fault all the time (while it in reality could be about the other person having bad week or you thinking that you can read minds). I have also found that my own shyness used to come from me thinking that people cared a great deal about what I was about to say or do.

How to overcome this habit:

Realise people don’t care too much about what you do. They have their hands full with worrying about their own lives and what people may think of them instead. Yes, this might make you feel less important in your own head. But it also sets you free a bit more if you’d like that.
Focus outward. Instead of thinking about yourself and how people may perceive you all the time, focus outward on the people around you. Listen to them and help them. This will help you to raise your self-esteem and help you to reduce that self-centred focus.

7. Over complicating life.
Life can be pretty complicated. This can creates stress and unhappiness. But much of this is often created by us. Yes, the world may be becoming more complex but that doesn’t mean that we cannot create new habits that make your own lives a bit simpler.

How to overcome this habit:

Over complicating life can involve many habits but I’d like to suggest a few replacement habits to what have been a couple of my own most over complicating habits.
Splitting your focus and having your attention all over the place in everyday life. I replaced that complicating habit with just doing one thing at a time during my day, having a small to-do list with 2-3 very important items and writing down my most important goal on white board that I see each day.
Having too much stuff. I replaced that habit with regularly asking myself: have I used this in the past year? If not then I will give that thing away or throw it away.
Creating relationship problems of any kind in your mind. Reading minds is hard. So, instead ask questions and communicate. This will help you to minimise unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste or time and energy.
Getting lost in the in-box. I spend less time and energy on my email in-box by just checking it once a day and writing shorter emails (if possible not more than 5 sentences.)
Getting lost in stress and overwhelm. When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind then, as I mentioned above, breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again. Then you can start focusing on doing what is most important for you again.

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