Becoming More Decisive

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Maybe it's selecting what to order from an extensive restaurant menu. Or choosing which event to attend when two are happening at the same time. We are faced with many decisions every day. Hundreds of them, if you really stop to think about it.

Some of them are easy, like what to have for breakfast or what to wear (that one is generally easier for men than women, in my experience).

Other decisions are more involved. They may require gathering additional information or input from others.

One thing that is clear about highly productive and successful people is that they are good at making decisions. They make decisions in a timely manner, and deal with the outcomes as they occur.

To Decide Or Not To Decide

I don't know about you, but I am not a very good decision maker.

I can handle the easy stuff. In fact, I am pretty productive person and make lots of decisions that I can implement myself.

But when it comes to things that require the involvement of other people or more coordination, I struggle.

I get too wrapped up in the different possibilities. I magnify the things that need to happen in order to gather the appropriate information or to execute the decision. I worry way too much about making the wrong decision. (And later I beat myself up for making wrong decisions, or not making the right one soon enough.)

What happens is I freeze.

I do nothing. I wait to see if things will just "work themselves out."

And here's the thing. Stuff does actually work out one way or another. Days continue to go by. But there isn't a lot of change or growth that happens if you are frozen.

Being wrong

In order to become more decisive, I have to accept the possibility of being wrong.

I mean, no one can be right 100% of the time. We're human beings, and we make bad decisions all the time. It's not the end of the world.

Plus, a lot of decisions don't really have a "right" or "wrong," just different outcomes. Trade offs. Maybe several outcomes are good, just in different ways. Maybe none of the outcomes are good, but you have to choose one anyway (I hate those kind!!)

Making decisions takes a strength of character that can manage the outcomes, no matter what they might be.

Each year I choose a word to guide my actions, priorities and growth. This year, my word is decisiveness.

I will be working to improve my ability to make decisions with wisdom and courage. How about you? Could you be a little more decisive in your life and your business? Do you tend to freeze when faced with difficult situations? Maybe you have a different relationship with decisiveness. I think this is a valuable area to explore and discuss, so share your thoughts in the comments.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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How to Stay Calm: 17 Tips for Stressful and Frustrating Situations

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris

The stress is rising. You’re starting to feel frustrated with situation you’re in. Or angry. Or maybe sad and like you just want to pack up and go home.

But at the same time you also know that you need to keep calm.

To be able to think clearly. To not overreact, make the wrong decision or to not say the wrong thing in a moment of anger, overwhelm or confusion.

I’m sure you – just like me – have been in situations like these many times.

So this week I’d like to share 17 habits and strategies that have helped me to keep calm and to keep moving forward.



1. Just breathe.

This is pretty much always step one for me.

Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit. If you have the time in the situation you’re in then I recommend sitting down for 1-2 minutes to do this. Only focus on the air slowly going and out and nothing else.

2. Then think of the consequences.

If you’re in a situation where you need to reply to what someone just said then follow up your few deep breaths with thinking about the consequences if you reply with overly tough words or if you back down instead of calmly standing your ground.

If you have an email or a phone message you need to reply to then consider taking more time to cool down – anywhere between 10 minutes to the next day – to get yourself into the right headspace before you reply.

3. Remember: It’s not always about you.

If someone attacks you with harsh words in a conversation or via email or phone then remind yourself that this may not even be about you.

He might be going overboard or overreacting because he’s having a bad day with a sick child or just a lot of things going wrong. Or she may lash out because she’s unhappy with her job, marriage or haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

This reminder helps me to not take everything so personally and to think for a minute and calm down instead of being reactive and escalating the situation.

4. Take it just one small – or tiny – step at a time.

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed out then don’t make the classic mistake of thinking you have to do everything at once to solve this situation.

Just focus on making a start. On one small step or even just a tiny one you can take to move forward.

I find that when I approach a situation like this then I rarely get stuck in analysis paralysis and my mind calms down when I know I only have to do one small thing at a time.

5. Question your perspective.

If you feel that you’re starting to get really frustrated, angry or sad about a situation then question your perspective before it goes any further.

Ask yourself:
How would I think and feel it if I were in his or her shoes? This one can help you to go from negative emotions to empathy and understanding. And that tends to help to both calm down and to find a solution for the both of you.
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? This one grounds me and helps me to stop sweating all the small stuff and to not make mountains out molehills in everyday life. And it helps me to once again focus my time and energy on what truly matters in my life.

6. What would someone else do?

Another way to change your perspective in a tough situation is to get outside of your own head a bit.

Do that by asking yourself: what would X do in this situation?

Some good people or characters that you could use for the X and this question are:
Winnie the Pooh.
Mom or dad.
Your calm and wise friend.

Find a person in your life or someone from a book, movie etc. that you truly like and ask yourself what he or she would do to find a new perspective.

7. Cycle fully focused work with 100% rest.

This could be a solution if you’re stressed today.

But it is more importantly a long term solution to reduce stress levels and to consistently put yourself in a better headspace to handle the inevitable setbacks and crises that will happen at work.

You need to clear boundaries for this to work though.

Here are three such boundaries I use in my own life.
A start time and stop time for my work day. And that’s 8 o clock in the morning and 7 o clock in the evening.
A break every 45 minutes. Usually, after about 45 minutes of work I take a 10-15 minute break. If I have trouble with following that guideline and work too much then I use the alarm function on my smart phone to stick to my work/rest cycle.
No work on weekends. I stay away from the work computer except for doing one quick check of my inbox. And I only reply to emails there that are urgent. The rest can wait until Monday. If you use a work phone then leave it at your job. Or at least keep it off and only check the messages 1-2 times per weekend.

8. Remember to keep things extremely simple.

Here’s a reminder that I’ve used more time than I can count: “Keep things extremely simple”.

It used to be at the top of my white board for over a year to remind me to not overcomplicate and to think of situations and solutions in the simplest way I could. Overthinking is a big contributor to stress and to spending too much time and energy on things that aren’t really that complicated.

I quite often sandwich this reminder between first focusing on my breathing and then following it up with focusing on one small or tiny step forward.

9. Ask instead of guessing.

Trying to mindread someone can quickly amplify stress and frustration. Because it’s pretty much impossible to do.

Plus, it can easily lead to a much worse scenario in your mind than what is actually going on in the other person’s head.

So communicate and ask what you want to ask.

10. Be 10 minutes early.

Not much help when you’re already in stressful situation. But a good reminder for tomorrow and next week.

Plan a bit ahead so that you can – as often as possible – let transportation time between meetings and destinations during your day become a small window where you can fully relax and rejuvenate so that you’ll be able to do fully focused work or be truly engaged when you arrive.

11. Reduce your to-do list.

A big or seemingly endless to-do list can cause a ton of overwhelm and stress.

To calm down simply ask yourself: what would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?

Then work on that task one step at a time.

This one helps me to quickly find my focus and to get started with doing one of truly most important things when I’m stressed. And it helps me to be selective with what I put on my to-do list for the day and week in the first place.

12. Go for a 5-15 minute laugh break.

When you feel overwhelmed and it’s hard to think then you can take this somewhat odd but effective kind of break.

For maybe 5-15 minutes focus on having fun, smiling and laughing.

Laughing and finding some fun breaks stress and tension. It helps your mind to relax.

You can do this by just spending a bit of time with someone at work, in school or at home that you know you’ll have fun with.

But I also recommend having a small mental or physical folder of things that you know will make you laugh.

For me it’s for example episodes of the Simpsons or comics by The Oatmeal and Jim Benton.

After that break you can return to your work or the situation that you’re trying to figure out with a lighter mind.

13. Take some time for yourself in nature.

A more conventional alternative to laugh breaks is to take a break where you go out in nature and spend some time in silence there to recharge yourself.

I usually take these breaks by going out for a slow walk in our nearby forest where I take in all the sounds, sights and smells for a little while.

14. Ask for help.

You don’t always have to go it alone in these situations. You can ask a friend, family member or even someone you may not know that well for a bit of help.

You might not always get it but you may be surprised at how helpful people can be if you just ask.

15. Just take care of today.

It’s hard to keep calm if you look at all the things you may have to get to done to solve a situation or to overcome a challenge.

That’s why I’ve already shared a few tips that help you to concentrate on a much smaller part of the situation. Such as when you focus on just one small or tiny step or when you ask yourself the question about what you’d work on if you only had 2 hours for work today.

Here’s another one of those tips and habits that help me.

What you do is simply to tell yourself: just take care of today.

Concentrate only on that. Forget about all the tomorrows for now. Narrow your focus and take care of only today.

Tomorrow will come in time and you can take care of it then.

16. Had a setback? Then be your own best friend.

Don’t let a temporary setback drag you down into a thought spiral of defeatism and negativity.

Instead, ask yourself this to keep going on a healthier track even if you don’t feel so good at the moment:

How would my best friend or my parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

17. Listen to yourself.

If you feel you’re having more trouble than usual with staying calm in several situations and you’re really frustrated in general and drained of energy then listen to yourself.

Step back before you run right into a brick wall and do or say something you really wouldn’t usually do.

Schedule more time to just take care of yourself.

Spend one evening – or a few – in bed and just watch your favorite TV-shows or movies. Take a trip over the weekend and just focus on relaxing and doing what you think is fun or fulfilling. Spend more time out in nature for a few days or a week.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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How to Stay Calm: 17 Tips for Stressful and Frustrating Situations

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris

The stress is rising. You’re starting to feel frustrated with situation you’re in. Or angry. Or maybe sad and like you just want to pack up and go home.

But at the same time you also know that you need to keep calm.

To be able to think clearly. To not overreact, make the wrong decision or to not say the wrong thing in a moment of anger, overwhelm or confusion.

I’m sure you – just like me – have been in situations like these many times.

So this week I’d like to share 17 habits and strategies that have helped me to keep calm and to keep moving forward.


1. Just breathe.

This is pretty much always step one for me.

Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit. If you have the time in the situation you’re in then I recommend sitting down for 1-2 minutes to do this. Only focus on the air slowly going and out and nothing else.

2. Then think of the consequences.

If you’re in a situation where you need to reply to what someone just said then follow up your few deep breaths with thinking about the consequences if you reply with overly tough words or if you back down instead of calmly standing your ground.

If you have an email or a phone message you need to reply to then consider taking more time to cool down – anywhere between 10 minutes to the next day – to get yourself into the right headspace before you reply.

3. Remember: It’s not always about you.

If someone attacks you with harsh words in a conversation or via email or phone then remind yourself that this may not even be about you.

He might be going overboard or overreacting because he’s having a bad day with a sick child or just a lot of things going wrong. Or she may lash out because she’s unhappy with her job, marriage or haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

This reminder helps me to not take everything so personally and to think for a minute and calm down instead of being reactive and escalating the situation.

4. Take it just one small – or tiny – step at a time.

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed out then don’t make the classic mistake of thinking you have to do everything at once to solve this situation.

Just focus on making a start. On one small step or even just a tiny one you can take to move forward.

I find that when I approach a situation like this then I rarely get stuck in analysis paralysis and my mind calms down when I know I only have to do one small thing at a time.

5. Question your perspective.

If you feel that you’re starting to get really frustrated, angry or sad about a situation then question your perspective before it goes any further.

Ask yourself:
How would I think and feel it if I were in his or her shoes? This one can help you to go from negative emotions to empathy and understanding. And that tends to help to both calm down and to find a solution for the both of you.
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? This one grounds me and helps me to stop sweating all the small stuff and to not make mountains out molehills in everyday life. And it helps me to once again focus my time and energy on what truly matters in my life.

6. What would someone else do?

Another way to change your perspective in a tough situation is to get outside of your own head a bit.

Do that by asking yourself: what would X do in this situation?

Some good people or characters that you could use for the X and this question are:
Winnie the Pooh.
Mom or dad.
Your calm and wise friend.

Find a person in your life or someone from a book, movie etc. that you truly like and ask yourself what he or she would do to find a new perspective.

7. Cycle fully focused work with 100% rest.

This could be a solution if you’re stressed today.

But it is more importantly a long term solution to reduce stress levels and to consistently put yourself in a better headspace to handle the inevitable setbacks and crises that will happen at work.

You need to clear boundaries for this to work though.

Here are three such boundaries I use in my own life.
A start time and stop time for my work day. And that’s 8 o clock in the morning and 7 o clock in the evening.
A break every 45 minutes. Usually, after about 45 minutes of work I take a 10-15 minute break. If I have trouble with following that guideline and work too much then I use the alarm function on my smart phone to stick to my work/rest cycle.
No work on weekends. I stay away from the work computer except for doing one quick check of my inbox. And I only reply to emails there that are urgent. The rest can wait until Monday. If you use a work phone then leave it at your job. Or at least keep it off and only check the messages 1-2 times per weekend.

8. Remember to keep things extremely simple.

Here’s a reminder that I’ve used more time than I can count: “Keep things extremely simple”.

It used to be at the top of my white board for over a year to remind me to not overcomplicate and to think of situations and solutions in the simplest way I could. Overthinking is a big contributor to stress and to spending too much time and energy on things that aren’t really that complicated.

I quite often sandwich this reminder between first focusing on my breathing and then following it up with focusing on one small or tiny step forward.

9. Ask instead of guessing.

Trying to mindread someone can quickly amplify stress and frustration. Because it’s pretty much impossible to do.

Plus, it can easily lead to a much worse scenario in your mind than what is actually going on in the other person’s head.

So communicate and ask what you want to ask.

10. Be 10 minutes early.

Not much help when you’re already in stressful situation. But a good reminder for tomorrow and next week.

Plan a bit ahead so that you can – as often as possible – let transportation time between meetings and destinations during your day become a small window where you can fully relax and rejuvenate so that you’ll be able to do fully focused work or be truly engaged when you arrive.

11. Reduce your to-do list.
A big or seemingly endless to-do list can cause a ton of overwhelm and stress.

To calm down simply ask yourself: what would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?

Then work on that task one step at a time.

This one helps me to quickly find my focus and to get started with doing one of truly most important things when I’m stressed. And it helps me to be selective with what I put on my to-do list for the day and week in the first place.

12. Go for a 5-15 minute laugh break.

When you feel overwhelmed and it’s hard to think then you can take this somewhat odd but effective kind of break.

For maybe 5-15 minutes focus on having fun, smiling and laughing.

Laughing and finding some fun breaks stress and tension. It helps your mind to relax.

You can do this by just spending a bit of time with someone at work, in school or at home that you know you’ll have fun with.

But I also recommend having a small mental or physical folder of things that you know will make you laugh.

For me it’s for example episodes of the Simpsons or comics by The Oatmeal and Jim Benton.

After that break you can return to your work or the situation that you’re trying to figure out with a lighter mind.

13. Take some time for yourself in nature.

A more conventional alternative to laugh breaks is to take a break where you go out in nature and spend some time in silence there to recharge yourself.

I usually take these breaks by going out for a slow walk in our nearby forest where I take in all the sounds, sights and smells for a little while.

14. Ask for help.

You don’t always have to go it alone in these situations. You can ask a friend, family member or even someone you may not know that well for a bit of help.

You might not always get it but you may be surprised at how helpful people can be if you just ask.

15. Just take care of today.

It’s hard to keep calm if you look at all the things you may have to get to done to solve a situation or to overcome a challenge.

That’s why I’ve already shared a few tips that help you to concentrate on a much smaller part of the situation. Such as when you focus on just one small or tiny step or when you ask yourself the question about what you’d work on if you only had 2 hours for work today.

Here’s another one of those tips and habits that help me.

What you do is simply to tell yourself: just take care of today.

Concentrate only on that. Forget about all the tomorrows for now. Narrow your focus and take care of only today.

Tomorrow will come in time and you can take care of it then.

16. Had a setback? Then be your own best friend.

Don’t let a temporary setback drag you down into a thought spiral of defeatism and negativity.

Instead, ask yourself this to keep going on a healthier track even if you don’t feel so good at the moment:

How would my best friend or my parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

17. Listen to yourself.

If you feel you’re having more trouble than usual with staying calm in several situations and you’re really frustrated in general and drained of energy then listen to yourself.

Step back before you run right into a brick wall and do or say something you really wouldn’t usually do.

Schedule more time to just take care of yourself.

Spend one evening – or a few – in bed and just watch your favorite TV-shows or movies. Take a trip over the weekend and just focus on relaxing and doing what you think is fun or fulfilling. Spend more time out in nature for a few days or a week.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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The Ticket to a Simpler Life

Do you dream of leading a simpler life? Are you worn out, frustrated, or unhappy with where you live or what you do? I've talked about living in paradise before, but I wanted to share a few more thoughts on the subject.

There isn't anything wrong with having a "paradise dream" (dreams are encouraged!), but if we live our lives waiting until we can move on to greener pastures, we'll miss out on what life has to offer right now.

We all have ideas on what we think a simpler life means. Some of us think retiring and moving to the woods is the ticket. Others want to move to somewhere tropical. Most of the time retiring and moving are key components for what we think is a happier, stress-reduced life.

Oh, the error of our ways...

The thing is, simplifying life doesn't have to mean moving to the middle of nowhere. Oftentimes, doing just that actually complicates things a bit. Just think about all the things you have to do to survive if you take off and move into the woods. If you don't have electricity, you have to get firewood (even if you live in the south - doesn't it get chilly there, too?). If you don't have a job or a ton of money in savings, you can't just buy the wood. That means you have to gather and cut the wood yourself. What it takes to live off the land and survive is a lot more than one would expect. And in many cases, it's a full-time job.

Our ideas of a simpler life aren't always accurate. We think if we can just move into the woods, life will be simpler. Or we think if we can just quit our jobs, life will be simpler. Sometimes it really is simpler, especially if there is drama in the workplace, but what are we going to do after that? How are we going to pay the bills?

Even if we live off the grid and grow our own food, we still have expenses. Whether we like it or not, we still need an income or a major reserve of funds to get by. It isn't as easy as one might think.

Also, in our world today, we have become spoiled with technology. We can whip out our smartphones and find out just about any information we need or want. We can order products, even food, online and have it delivered to our front door. We can watch movies online and dial a phone number simply by speaking a few words into the phone.

Many of us aren't ready to say goodbye to the internet. And if we want high-speed internet (trust me, satellite internet doesn't cut it), well, we'll need to be in a location where the service is available.

See, we have these grand ideas that if we take off into the woods, life will get easier. But the issue comes when our true calling doesn't actually support our dreams of living in the woods. In that case, moving to the woods makes our lives much harder. Internet will be slower, if it works at all, and getting supplies will take longer.

What I'm trying to get across is this: it doesn't matter where we live. We can still find ways to simplify our lives without taking off and saying goodbye to the world.

Many of us think if we just move to somewhere tropical, life will be easy. But does it align with our calling? If it does, great! If not, moving to that paradise location will make our lives miserable. We can have the best view in the world, but if it makes doing our work more difficult, we may find ourselves frustrated.

So, what are some ways we can make the most of where we are right now?

Remember our goals. 

Remember our purpose (we weren't meant to be hermits). 

Work toward our dreams. 

Focus on positive things and limit the complaints. 

Recognize the blessings. 

Learn from all experiences. 

Remember that life is a journey. 

Find an activity to enjoy. 

Believe that paradise can be achieved right now. 

Listen to the things that God is placing on our hearts.

The grass on our side can be just as green as it appears on the other side. It just takes a little work to see things clearly. It isn't about the location or the work; it's about the journey and what we can learn each step of the way.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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10 Less Stressful Ways to Get Your Daily Work Done

“Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.”
Jose Ortega y Gasset

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle

It is early morning. You’ve had your breakfast and done your morning routine.

So you head out into your day. And in a short while you’ll sit down in school or at your job and get started with your daily work.

But how can you get that work done in a way that is less stressful, less energy consuming and simply a bit smarter?

Today I’d like to share 10 tips that have helped me with that. I hope you will find something here that will help you too to simplify and relaxify your own daily work.


Do just one thing at a time. It will help you to get your task all the way to done, to feel less stressed and confused and you’ll do a better job compared to if you multi-task things. And if you feel stressed and overwhelmed during your day then you can tell yourself this simple thing to regain focus and inner clarity again.

Keep a minimalistic workspace. It makes it easier to keep your focus and attention in the right place and to keep your thinking clear. I keep a workspace with just a small wooden desk, a chair and my laptop and a glass of water or mug of tea on that desk.

Go slow. One good way to do more focused work is to go a bit slower than you may usually do. I have also found that by just doing something at a slower pace it feels less like a mental burden and so I am less likely to procrastinate.

Eliminate. From time to time ask yourself: what one task during my day or week can I simply eliminate and not do with few or no consequences? It’s easy to just keep doing everything simply because “you should” or because you’ve always done so. So question how you go about things to free up energy and time. There is often room to at least simplify a bit through elimination.

Cycle 100% focused work with 100% full rest. This is a big one for me. By doing things this way you’ll help yourself to keep your mental sharpness and energy up for the whole day and workweek. I do this by setting my egg-timer for 30 minutes (or sometimes 15 minutes).
During those minutes I only focus on the one task at hand and it becomes easier to do so because I know that I only have to do it for this limited time period. When the egg-timer rings I leave my work for 5-15 minutes. During those minutes I focus only on resting by having a snack, taking a short walk or by relaxing with my eyes closed on the couch.

Don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go as planned. Instead, be kind to yourself and smart with your energy and ask yourself: what is one thing I can learn from this? Use what you can learn to do things better and to avoid making the same mistake in the future. It’s a better use of your time than spending it on regretting a past that you cannot change anyway.

Let emails and other online checking wait until the end of the workday. Or at least for a few hours. Don’t start your day with going through your email – if possible – because it can add a lot of stress and suck away your limited energy and attention early in the day. It can also make it hard to even find enough time for your most important tasks if you get too distracted by your inbox.

Limit your daily information input. Regularly unsubscribe to blogs, podcasts, forums and email newsletters that doesn’t add much value to your life anyway. Keep only the most helpful, funny, inspiring and best ones. This very simple thing can free up quite a bit of both time and attention during the course of a month.

Ask yourself questions every day that help you to find your focus.It’s so easy to get off track during a day. To stay on it or to get back there if you get lost use one – or both – of my own favorite questions:
What is the most important thing I can do right now? And what would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today? If you like, write these questions down on a note and put that note where you cannot avoid seeing it during your day.

Focus mostly on the how to and not so much on the what-ifs.Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis, overthinking and in the worry and lack of self-esteem that usually comes from those destructive thoughts. Instead, focus on what you actually can do, on what action you can take to move forward.
Empower yourself by asking yourself: What is one small step I can take right now to move forward towards my goal or out of this situation?

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