What To Do What Your Anger Is Out Of Control

How frequent is it when you notice that your anger and emotions are getting out of control that's driving you all sorts of inappropriate, reckless, crazy behaviors?

To the majority of us, it's undeniable that life is tough, challenging and stressful these days. However, it is still important to learn how to control your temper.

One critical thing to remember is that you are always 100% in control of your emotions.

While you should never find yourself in a situation that you can't control, you always have choices as to how to react to any kinds of situations.

By allowing yourself to even think that your temper is controlled by other people or circumstances, you are just making an excuse for yourself!

To a certain extent, anger is actually a powerful emotional response.

It reminds you what you don't like about your life and what matters to you. It allows you freely express your frustrated feelings, but it should never overpower your self-control.

If you find that you are turning into a violent beast when angry hits you, you have an imminent dangerous problem to fix. If you really find it difficult to handle, you might as well consult some anger management experts for advice.

Remember this powerful paradigm shift: It is not how you are feeling that is wrong. It is what you do with your feelings that become the issue.

If you allow yourself to throw a tantrum and fling your arms around, ranting wildly like a lion king, this is obviously not a good sign. You are liable to hurt other people's feelings as well as possibly causing them physical harm.

When you let your temper get the better out of you, you may face serious consequences like:

Detrimental to your unstable mental health

Severely damaging your physical health, some may even trigger heart attacks or latent diseases

Ruining your professional career because you're confronting your boss, colleagues or even clients in a mindless way

Destroying relationships with friends, family, lovers and co-workers

Failing to create the kind of impact you want in the world because no one wants to help you with your vision and mission

Luckily, there are solutions to this problem.

Your first step is to seek out help and learn to manage your temper in a more effective way. This can include group therapy or it can consist of you learning how to manage your anger by yourself.

Learning to control your temper will take time, energy, effort and patience. One of the first things you should do is to try to determine what the root cause of your anger is.

Did you grow up in an angry household where you witnessed a lot of fights and dramas? 

Have you experienced a traumatic event in the past about people?

Sometimes the root cause of anger can be hidden deep inside. It is only with a lot of self-reflection, soul-searching and meditating that the answers will be revealed.

Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and start making a list of all the things that make you angry. Then put them in order of importance - which one lights your fuse first. Once you know what your root cause is, you will be able to devise a better strategy to deal with it and slowly change your behavior.

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4 Indisputable Steps to Stop Living An Average Life

I would say that one of coolest things I loved growing up and still to this day is going to the movies. Going to the movies was always so cool not only for the experience of being in a theatre but the actual story telling of the movies there self.

Movies have a way of capturing your attention like no other. There’s always a cool, brave main character with some kind of dope ability. Whether it be super strength, metal craws, super genius or just plain old cool, the main guy always has some trait to his advantage.

The main character would always find a way to beat the odds and overcome whatever challenge to antagonist presents. Always being the one to save the damsel in distress and the goofy sidekick.

4 Steps to Stop Living An Average Life


There is one thing I never really liked about movies and that’s the way they would make me feel when I got home. When I would get home, I would slowly come back to the reality that I would never be able to do any of those things.

My logical mind would tell me to realistic and realistically I was more like the goofy sidekick.

My mind would tell me I was average and would 95% likely to be that way forever.

Somewhere deep I would feel my heart telling me that I was great and that I actually was meant for something bigger than how I was living. Eventually something would have to change…

Here are 4 indisputable steps to stop living an average life:

1. Take Back Your Power
One of the worst things you can do to yourself on this planet is allowing your power to lie in someone else’s hand. What I mean by that is so many of us grow up never making any important decision about our life until it’s time for college.

So many young people like I struggle with indecisiveness today and it’s ridiculous.

Most American children go through life with someone telling you what school you’re going to, what food you eat, what you were and every little thing in between.

By the time college rolls around your kind of just told hey pick what college you want to go to and decide what you want to do for the rest of your life.

This very same thing can lead to a road of resentment towards yourself and others around you. I would find myself blaming good people in my life whenever I would get frustrated at a situation I was in.

The thing I didn’t realise was by blaming them I was basically saying they were in control of my life and my outcomes. When in truth I was. Once I took back my blame I also took back my power in realising I have the ability to point my life in any direction I want.


Take back your responsibility for your actions and you will see a whole world of change.

That’s something you can count on.


2. Believe In Yourself

Before I elaborate I must say that I know on a shallow basis we all believe in ourselves. To be honest for most people that’s about where their self-belief powers end. We live in a society today where a lot of young people grow up not having their opinions and expressions valued by those authoritative figures in their life.

You may not think so but this very thing can have a drastic effect on the outcome of a human beings life. They grow up not valuing their own opinions and expressions as an off spring effect because that part of them was never nurtured.

If something as simple as a plant is not taken care or looked after it will die, so what about something as complex and important as one believing in one’s self? Some things speak for themselves.

Good news for us is there is a way to counteract this and it is actually simple. We have to take back the character trait of believing in ourselves. Doing this will open a whole world of possibilities you’ve never dreamed of.

Before I was able to lose my first 30 pounds my mindset was that I could never do it. As I began to believe in myself I realised I can do anything if I held that belief and plan my moves accordingly.

I guaranteed you that if you ask any person of success in any field and they will tell you they knew they would be where they are today. Stop doubting you, you’re all you have when it is all said and done.


3. Make Your Map & Follow It

To be perfectly honest I learned a lot of useless information during my school life but if I had to pick one piece of info that I should have listened to and practiced, it would be writing down your goals.

The importance of writing down goals and sticking to them is something not stressed nor shinned upon enough. Would you go on a long trip without first having known the directions? I don’t think so.

One of the most devastating things about people is they tend to think if they have an idea they can simply store it for later instead of actually bringing it to the physical by writing it down now. Most times when we don’t write things down we tend to go about are day, forget them and never come back to them.

Take the time out to sit down and figure out what you want to do, the best steps to do, and a reasonable time frame to accomplish it. Then you can break eat of those down to even smaller steps and goals.

I promise this will make your life 60% easier, seriously! The cool part is you don’t have to take super big steps in the beginning. Just the smallest moves can lead to something great if you stick with them.

When you realize the reason most people never accomplish great things is because they flat out never plan for it, the doors will open for you.


4. Crack Your Shell

Taking back your power, believing in yourself and making your map are all vital to living up to your fullest potential and getting out of mundane living.

However, this last step is one that lies at the heart of them all and that’s breaking free from your comfort area. Now we’ve all heard someone says at one time or another “you need to get out your comfort zone” but the thing is they don’t really go into the importance of it. Your brain loves to create patterns for us to follow for the simple fact it makes things easier to predict.

The thing about this is your brain does not filter between good and bad patterns, it just works with what it is given to it.

This is why it can be difficult to step out of your own perceptions and expand your horizons. When in stress of breaking your shell just remember that your plan is full proof and will work for you.

I once read a quote that said people can be measured by the amount of awkward conversations they have. It takes guts to stand up for yourself and your dreams but it is a must to reaching happiness with a side of success.


Wrapping Up

A quick tip to leaping over your boundaries is to plan ahead and set ambition but realistic liveable goals. It has to be something you really have a passion for or the next part might be a little challenging.

After you have your set target, the most important step is to believe in it. Listen to me when I tell you believing in yourself and goals are crucial on the road to a better version of you. If you can’t see your vision don’t expect anyone else to.

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Kobe Bryant’s Powerful Letter to His 17 Year Old Self

The All-Star basketball legend Kobe Bryant shares his letter to his 17-year old self.

Kobe’s letter is below:

Dear 17-year-old self,

When your Laker dream comes true tomorrow, you need to figure out a way to invest in the future of your family and friends. This sounds simple, and you may think it’s a no-brainer, but take some time to think on it further.

I said INVEST.

I did not say GIVE.

Let me explain.

Purely giving material things to your siblings and friends may appear to be the right decision. You love them, and they were always there for you growing up, so it’s only right that they should share in your success and all that comes with it. So you buy them a car, a big house, pay all of their bills. You want them to live a beautiful, comfortable life, right?

But the day will come when you realize that as much as you believed you were doing the right thing, you were actually holding them back.

You will come to understand that you were taking care of them because it made YOU feel good, it made YOU happy to see them smiling and without a care in the world — and that was extremely selfish of you. While you were feeling satisfied with yourself, you were slowly eating away at their own dreams and ambitions. You were adding material things to their lives, but subtracting the most precious gifts of all: independence and growth.

Understand that you are about to be the leader of the family, and this involves making tough choices, even if your siblings and friends do not understand them at the time.

Invest in their future, don’t just give.

Use your success, wealth and influence to put them in the best position to realize their own dreams and find their true purpose. Put them through school, set them up with job interviews and help them become leaders in their own right. Hold them to the same level of hard work and dedication that it took for you to get to where you are now, and where you will eventually go.

I’m writing you now so that you can begin this process immediately, and so that you don’t have to deal with the hurt and struggle of weaning them off of the addiction that you facilitated. That addiction only leads to anger, resentment and jealousy from everybody involved, including yourself.

As time goes on, you will see them grow independently and have their own ambitions and their own lives, and your relationship with all of them will be much better as a result.

There’s plenty more I could write to you, but at 17, I know you don’t have the attention span to sit through 2,000 words.

The next time I write to you, I may touch on the challenges of mixing blood with business. The most important advice I can give to you is to make sure your parents remain PARENTS and not managers.

Before you sign that first contract, figure out the right budget for your parents — one that will allow them to live beautifully while also growing your business and setting people up for long-term success. That way, your children’s kids and their kids will be able to invest in their own futures when the time comes.

Your life is about to change, and things are about to come at you very fast. But just let this sink in a bit when you lay down at night after another nine-hour training day.

Trust me, setting things up right from the beginning will avoid a ton of tears and heartache, some of which remains to this day.

Much love,

Kobe

KOBE BRYANT / LOS ANGELES LAKERS

Article Originally appeared on: The Players Tribune

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