4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Motivation

How do you defeat the self-inflicted agony that each one of us as humans have felt at some point or another? How do you work through the pain that hurts so much to the point that we don’t want to deal with it anymore? How do you not give up?

Here’s how:

Step 1—Understand that you’re not alone and the feeling isn’t permanent.

The first step towards crawling back to taking control of your life when you’re on the verge of giving up is really just remembering that you’re not the only person who has felt hopeless, all of us understand what you’re feeling and where you’re coming from. We’ve all been there, and chances are that we’ll each be there again, so it really is kind of about understanding that it happens to everyone, and even more importantly, these moods and feelings come and go in waves. Just because you feel down and without motivation right now doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. It may be gone tomorrow, it may be gone a week from now or a month from now, but it is temporary.

Step 2—Start believing in yourself.
You have the power to let go of negative beliefs about yourself. You also have the power to create positive beliefs that will empower you rather than hinder you. The point of feeling like you want to give up comes from becoming the victim of the negativity of your own internal dialogue. You want to give up because the conversation that takes place in your head tells you you aren’t good enough, you’re not competent, you don’t have it in you, and that maybe what you’re doing isn’t worth the reward you’re expecting. These are problems that we all face as humans on a daily basis simply because our minds are neurotic; they’re negative, and we believe them.

In order to start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing what your mind says. Stop believing the negativity that plays out in your mind and start to laugh at it. You have the power to let go of negative beliefs, and at the same time create positive beliefs that are self-empowering.

Step 3—Start changing your life in ways that will reflect a change in your attitude.

You are the things that you do on a daily basis. If you want your life to change, if you want your moods to change, if your attitude to get better or your motivation to be higher, you have to begin changing your daily actions in a way that will exhibit change in your life.

For me, the way I stay motivated when I’m feeling down is by starting to do daily habits that are difficult, that challenge me and help me grow my willpower. Not only do you feel accomplished when you take on challenging habits, but you are literally strengthening your willpower.

It really is about keeping your energy levels high, and challenging yourself with difficult habits. Developing these habits will help you deal with the negativity that drains you physically, mentally and emotionally.
What are these habits?

Waking up early helps me take time to enjoy my life, and focus on the actions I know are necessary to accomplish my goals. When you become a morning person, you begin to feel empowered, accomplished, and you create time for yourself while the rest of the world is still asleep and there are no distractions.

Meditating is a very important habit that really will help you understand the negative thoughts you have. It will help you begin to separate from those thoughts with the understanding that you are not your thoughts. When you believe your negative thoughts and identify with them, you have no power, you feel horrible about yourself and you will lack motivation. Start to understand your own negativity by meditating for just a few minutes a day and you will find that your motivation levels rise instantly.

Reading is another integral habit that helps keep me motivated. I read about people who have been successful in life; people who seemingly have infinite motivation within them to do everything they set out to do. There’s nothing more motivating than learning from successful individuals who have detailed accounts about what kept them going and how they were able to stay strong in difficult times. You and I are no different and we can take lessons from successful, motivated people and implement those strategies in our own lives.

Step 4—Surround yourself with people who exhibit qualities that you want to possess.

The most important thing you need to do in order to keep yourself motivated and positive is surround yourself with people who you want to be like rather than surrounding yourself with people who are just like you. We become the people we hang out with, and I like to say that we’re an average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with people that are just like you, you will never change. But if you begin to surround yourself with motivated, positive people that are go-getters, you too will become a positive person with proper motivation who is a go getter.
Conclusion

Don’t give up. When you’re about to give up is the point where its most important to show up with strength and not give into the difficulty you’re facing. Just remember, this is temporary, you’re not alone, change is possible, and you have the strength in you to live the life you want.

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Letting Go: Is Life Too Short To Hold Onto The Past?

What is clear is that human beings don't live forever; there comes a point in everyone's life when their time will come to an end. When it comes to when this will be, it can depend on a number of different factors.

Due to this, it is often said that life is too short to waste time; each moment needs to be seized. Through taking this approach, one will be making the most of the life that they have been given.

A Waste

If one doesn't experience life in this way, they could feel as though they are missing out. As a result of this, not only could they end up feeling angry; they could also feel guilty.

It is then going to be a challenge for them to standstill, and they might even find it hard to sleep. Their life is not going to be something they have to endure; it is going to be something that they are here to enjoy.

Driven

One is then going to be used to feeling motivated, and this will give them the energy that they need to achieve things. In general, they won't find it hard to get out of bed; they will have the need to get things moving.

This could mean that other people see them as someone who grabs life by the horns, so to speak. And based on how they approach life, it is likely to have a passive effect on how these people experience life.

Relationships

Their intimate relationships could also be infused with this same energy, and they are unlikely to want to have someone in their life who has a different approach. The people they are intimate with are then going to add to what they already bring to the table.

Their upbeat nature could also make it easier for them to move on after a break up; they won't want to go over the experiences they shared. One could believe that they will only be wasting their time if they wallow in the past.

A Rare Occurrence

To experience life in this way could sound like a dream to most people, and this is because they can find it hard to relate to. They might find it hard to remember when they last experienced life in this way.

And while someone might believe that it is possible to experience life in this way, they could say that this is not how life works. As far as they are concerned, life could be something that has to be endured, as opposed to enjoyed.

In The middle

Or, they may say that this is how they experience life at certain times, but that's as far as it goes. It is then not going to matter how short life is, as they will have moments when the amount of time they have on this earth becomes irrelevant.

Yet, regardless of whether one rarely has moments like this or whether they have them from time to time, they will know what it is like to get stuck in the past. When this happens, it won't matter what is going on in the present moment.

Attention

Their point of focus will be on something that took place a few days ago, or it might have even been a number of years ago. This will make it a lot harder for them to make the most of the present moment.

There is the chance that this is something that will only affect them during certain times, or it could practically bring their life to a standstill. Either way, it is going to stop them from being able to move forward in life.

One Area

When it only affects them at certain times, it could be something that stops them from being able to start a new relationship, for instance. This area of their life is then going to be far from fulfilling, and they are likely to experience a lot of pain.

The pain that they experience in this a part of their life could cause them to work even harder in their career. Therefore, although one area of their life will be ignored, another area won't be.

Feedback

If one was to talk to their friends and/or family about what they are going through, they could tell them that they need to let go of the past. This could be something that they are only too aware of, or it might not have occurred to them before.

Along with this, they could say that they need to do this since life is too short to hold onto what happened. Through being told this, it might not be long until one is able to move on with their life, and to put the past behind them.

A Conscious Choice

Through deciding it was time to move on, one would have gradually been able to let go of the past. It could then be said that one used their will power to change their life, and this can show that one doesn't need to be controlled by their mind.

However, while the above can take place, it doesn't mean that it is always this simple. Instead, one could find that even though they realise life is short, it doesn't mean that they are able to just let go of the past.

Pressure

One could then find that they start to feel bad about themselves, as they should be able to let go. There is then going to be the pain they are experiencing through being caught up in the past, and the pain that is created through not being able to use their will power to move on.

Clearly, one is going through enough as it is without punishing themselves for being in this position. The trouble with the willpower approach is that letting go is not always about the mind; there can be times when it is about what is going on in the body.

Awareness

If it relates to what is taking place in their body, it might be necessary for them to put their willpower to one side. As if they are carrying an emotional build-up that needs to be processed, they will need to face how they feel.

When comes to letting go of what is taking place in their body, they may need to work with a therapist.

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How to Stop Being So Lazy: 10 Simple Habits

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.”
Martin Luther

When I was younger, in my early twenties, I was often lazy. Too often actually.

And so I didn’t:
Get my school work done in a good way and had to cram and stress out a few days before an exam.
Work out or cook healthy food because it felt too hard and I gained 30+ pounds of weight while my fitness levels went down.
Take care of my personal growth and dreams but mostly just let all that slide to “someday” as those things remained daydreams.

10+ years later I still love lazying around and not doing much at all. But I’ve also learned how to keep that lazy time to a moderate and healthy amount instead of letting it hold me back and stuck in the same place of excuses for years like it used to.


This week I’d like to share 10 simple habits that have helped me to make that change. To stop being so lazy and get what really matters done by working smarter. While still having room for guilt-free lazy time to spend as I like.

1. Be kind to yourself.

When you feel that you’ve perhaps been too lazy lately it’s common and tempting to beat yourself up about it and to hope that will lead you to start taking action.

Sometimes it does. But I have found that beating yourself up most often just leads to feeling guiltier and like a failure. And so you feel less motivated to get going and you procrastinate because there seems to be little point in even trying.

Instead of getting stuck in that self-esteem sucking place I recommend to gently nudge yourself towards the next tip in this article whenever you feel like you want to beat yourself up.

2. Start with just a small step forward.

The hardest thing is often to simply get started.

So make that as easy as you can to reduce the inner resistance and to actually take action. Start with just taking a small step forward:
Go out running for only 3 minutes.
Do the dishes for 5 minutes.
Write on that report you’ve been procrastinating on for 10 minutes.

I use this habit almost every day in some way. I’m for example creating a new course and my daily aim over the past months has usually been to write 1 page a day. And now that the writing is done the aim as I start my day is often to edit 1 page.

That’s it. But it has never stopped at only 1 page in these months, I have written or edited a whole bunch more each day.

3. Do a small part of what matters most first thing in your day.

To feel like you can enjoy your lazy/rest time fully and without guilt it’s important to actually get what truly matters in the long run done each week.

So start your day with that. But make it easy on yourself by breaking down that task into smaller steps and then focus on just the first one.

Get on it right away to get into an effective and focused mindset.

By doing so you set a good tone for your day. You get that quick 5-10 minute win in first thing and you’ll be a lot more motivated to keep going on that path during the rest of your day.

Instead of starting with busy work like checking emails – this may be vital to do first thing for some but for many it’s probably not – or checking Facebook etc. and then 30 minutes later getting started with today’s work.

4. Cycle fully focused work with small breaks of rest/lazy time.

To lighten up your daily work inject small breaks between doing short but focused burst of work.

Say to yourself: I’ll do 20 minutes of work on this task now and then I can take 5 or 10 minutes of lazy time.

By breaking down your hours like this the work seems less daunting. And you’ll feel energetic and motivated longer and do work of better quality if you allow yourself these pauses of rest and time to lazy around on Facebook, with a game or with just relaxing in the grass or with short walk in the park.

Then, after some time, you may want to work for 40 minutes before you take a 10 minute break. But go easy on yourself at first.

And if you have trouble with sticking to your time-limits then use an app on your phone or a simple egg-timer from your kitchen.

5. Shut down the escape routes temporarily.

Just sitting down at for example your computer and trying to do fully focused work for 5 or 20 minutes may not result in any work of importance getting done.

Not if you don’t remove those things that you usually use to procrastinate.

So ask yourself: where do I usually escape to instead of doing my work?

For me it’s for example often my smart phone and checking Reddit, Twitter or random internet browsing.

So I put my phone in silent mode and I put it at the other end of our home when I work. By setting up that small physical obstacle I avoid the phone trap maybe 95% of the time.

If you:
Have the same issue with gaming then put your controller far away in your home while working.
Escape to Facebook or other websites on your computer then block that for a little while by using for example StayFocusd.
Watch TV then pull out the cords to it. Or remove one of the cords completely and put it at the other end of your home.

6. List the downsides and upsides for renewed motivation.

Asking yourself better questions tend to give better answers.

Two sets of questions that I have sat down and asked myself with closed eyes and that have refueled my motivation many times are:
How will my life look in 5 years if I just continue to stay on the same path as now?
How will life likely become worse for me and maybe even for the people around me?

This is not like beating yourself up but rather a sober examination of where it’s realistic that you’re heading. And it may be uncomfortable but try to see the negative consequences as vividly as you can in your mind to kickstart your motivation to get going for that positive change.

Then ask yourself:
How will my life look in 1 year if I get started, stick with it and keep going with this change?
How will life improve not only for me but for the people that I love if I stick with it?

7. Unclutter your life.

When your life’s too cluttered and overwhelming then you may shut down and procrastinate by lying lazily on the couch and just watching the TV or your smart phone.

When that’s the case then start uncluttering both your work hours and your private time. Two questions that have helped me to do that and to find what is most important are:
What would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?
If I had just 1 hour of free time today then how would I spend it?

Use these to get out of an old rut, to question your normal day a bit and to find your top priorities.

Then see what you can eliminate, minimize or perhaps delegate of the things that are not contained in your answers.

8. Be OK with stumbling from time to time.

The fear of failure can hold you back in a state of doing easier things and in what you may see as being lazy.

But everyone that go for what they truly want and outside of their comfort zone stumbles and fails from time to time. That’s just a part of a life well lived (even if we don’t hear about people’s setbacks as often as their successes).

See a setback as a learning experience and as a way to be more constructive and kinder to yourself.

You can do that by asking yourself these two questions after you’ve stumbled:
What is 1 thing I can learn from this situation?
How would my best friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? (Then talk to yourself and do things like she or he would).

9. Let the enthusiasm, energy and motivation of others in.

Whatever you let into your mind and life will influence you. If the people you hang out the most with are generally a bit lazy about work or school then it’s easy to just adapt to that mood and way of thinking and go with it.

But if you spend more time with motivated people in real life and via books, the internet, podcasts and audio books then that will start to influence your thinking and mood too.

So think about what you let into your mind on a daily and weekly basis and if you want make a few changes to that.

10. Truly appreciate and enjoy your lazy time.

Time spent on just lazying around helps me to relax and recharge and it makes me happy.

But if I do it too much then it does become less healthy for me. It:
Starts to frustrate me because I’m not moving forward towards what I want.
Creates stress instead of relaxing me because I’m not getting what’s important done and that could have negative consequences quite soon.

Still, at a moderate amount spending some time on being lazy is truly beneficial for me.

And I’ve found that when you think a little about how you want to spend your lazy time – no matter if it’s a 10 minute break or a lazy Sunday – and use that time on something you really enjoy like reading a book you love rather than aimlessly watching TV-shows you’re just OK with then that time does not only brings more happiness and fulfillment.

I’ve also learned that when I spend my lazy time in this more conscious way I’m more motivated and energized to go back to work again later on.

So I make sure to appreciate and fully enjoy the lazy time I have and create for myself because I know that it will benefit me in several important ways.

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