5 Great Steps To Building Self-Confidence & Becoming Popular

How would you like to become more popular and welcomed by people in your social or business circles?

Well, you can be, by learning how to be more charming in every interaction with others.

The deepest human need is the desire to feel important. When you go through life building self-confidence and making other people feel important and valuable, they will like you, welcome you, and open every door for you. This is how to become popular both professionally and personally.

If you are in business, becoming a charming person, making others feel important, will help you in every business situation, from negotiating terms to borrowing money to influencing key customers.

If you are in sales, the way customers feel about you, and feel when they are with you, will determine your level of sales and referrals more than any other factor.

In your personal, family and social life, learning to be more charming will make you more popular, desirable, influential and persuasive than any other quality.

How do you become a genuinely charming person? Here are five behaviors you can practice with every person to make him or her feel more important:

1. Smile In Every Interaction

Each person has a deep-down need to be accepted unconditionally by other people, without judgment or criticism.

And how to express this “unconditional positive regard?” Simple! Just smile. An open, honest, happy-to-see-you smile warms people’s hearts, makes them feel important, and causes them unconsciously to like you from the first moment.

2. Say “Thank You” Early And Often

Everyone loves to be appreciated for something, anything they have done for someone else.

When you say the magic words “Thank you” early and often, you make people feel important and happy, raise their self-esteem and increase their desire to help you and do things for you.

3. Give Genuine Compliments

Whenever you admire the possessions, traits or accomplishments of others, they automatically feel more important and valuable! As Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.”

Admire people’s choices in clothing, hairstyles, cars, briefcases, purses or office layout. Admire their homes or apartments. Admire their degrees or certificates. Whenever you compliment a person on something he or she has obviously invested time and emotion in achieving, you boost their self-image and build high self-esteem. As a result, they find you to be “charming.”

4. Give Praise And Approval Often

Give praise and approval generously, for both small and large accomplishments. Whenever anyone does anything worthwhile, tell them how good they are, and what a fine job they’ve done, building self-confidence and high self-esteem.

One definition of self-esteem is: How much a person feels praiseworthy.

When you praise your spouse and children, your staff and coworkers, your customers and suppliers, you make them feel more important, and cause them to see you as “charming.”

5. Give Them Your Full Attention

People feel valuable and important to the degree to which they are listened to and respected.

Whenever you listen closely to another person when he is talking, his self-esteem goes up. His brain releases endorphins, nature’s “happy drug,” and he feels good about being in your presence.

You always “pay value” to a person by listening attentively, by hanging on every word. When you do, he or she warms up to you and begins to find you “charming.”

Go through life looking for little opportunities to make people feel valuable and special. Smile at them as if you are glad to see them. Thank them regularly. Compliment them sincerely. Praise them lavishly. And listen to them when they speak building self-confidence and promoting high self-esteem.

Soon, almost without effort on your part, everyone will be talking about “what a charming person you are.”

Thank you for reading this article on how to become popular through unconditional positive regard, building self-confidence and promoting high self-esteem. Please share and comment below!

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7 Ways To Show Gratitude, Be Thankful, & Boost Your Motivation

In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I want to encourage you to voice your “attitude of gratitude”. Say thank you and give constructive feedback to your staff, friends, children, and co-workers and encourage them to be better in their lives and work.

Make it a habit to give people continual praise and encouragement. The more you praise and encourage positive constructive behaviors, the more deposits you make to the “emotional bank account.”

1) Appreciate People For Everything They Do

Always show appreciation. Every time you thank another person, you cause that person to like themselves better. You raise their self-esteem and improve their self-image. You cause them to feel more important. You make them feel that what they did was valuable and worthwhile. You empower them.

2) Build Your Own Self-Esteem By Thanking Others

And the wonderful thing about thanking other people is that, every time you say the words “thank you,” you like yourself better as well.

You feel better inside. You feel happier and more content with yourself and life. You feel more fully integrated and positive about what you are doing.

When you develop an attitude of gratitude that flows forth from you in all of your interactions with others, you will be amazed at how popular you will become and how eager others will be to help you in whatever you are doing.

3) Praise And Approve Others Continually

Another way to make people feel important and give them a sense of power and energy, is by the generous use of praise and approval. Psychological tests show that, when children are praised by the people that they look up to, their energy levels rise, their heart rates and respiratory rates increase and they feel happier about themselves overall.

4) Try “One Minute Praising”

Perhaps the most valuable lesson in Ken Blanchard’s book The One Minute Manager is his recommendation to be giving “One-Minute Praising” at every opportunity.

If you go around your home and through your social relationships praising and giving genuine and honest approval to people for their accomplishments, large and small, you will be amazed at how much more people like you and how much more willing they are to help you achieve your goals.

5) Practice The Law Of Reciprocity

There is a psychological law of reciprocity that says, “If you make me feel good about myself, I will find a way to make you feel good about yourself.”

In other words, people will always look for ways to reciprocate your kindnesses toward them. When you look for every opportunity to do and say things that make other people feel good about themselves, you will be astonished at not only how good you feel, but at the wonderful things that begin to happen all around you.

6) Pay Attention And Listen To Others

The third way to empower others, to build their self-esteem and make them feel important is simply to pay close attention to them when they talk.

The great majority of people are so busy trying to be heard that they become impatient when others are talking. But this is not for you. Remember, the most important single activity that takes place over time is listening intently to the other person when he or she is talking and expressing himself or herself.

7) Take Every Opportunity To Build People Up

Again, the three general rules for empowering the people around you, which apply to everyone you meet, are appreciation, approval, and attention.

Say thank you and voice your gratitude to others on every occasion. Praise them for every accomplishment. And pay close attention to them when they talk and want to interact with you. These three behaviors alone will make you a master of human interaction and will greatly empower the people around you.

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I hope that the holiday season treats you well and helps you to think about how thankful you are for what’s important in your life. As a thank you for being a loyal follower, I’d like to offer you some wonderful deals on some of my favorite products.

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