Don't Let Life Happen to You

Don't Let Life Happen To You

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. - Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher)

It's hard to believe that we are nearing the end of another year. As I write this, snow is falling in Colorado, the makings of a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner are in the kitchen, and our newspapers are filled with holiday ads. The end of the year always tends to be a time of reflection as we look back on the accomplishments of the past year and look forward to a new year. It's also a time to reflect on our lives and ensure that we are living the life we want.

It's easy to look at ones life and be content with where you are. You have a good job, a spouse or significant other, children, a nice car, and all of the trappings of success. Clearly you are well on your way to success. But the real question is, are you happy with what you are doing?

No, this is not an article about the spiritual side of your life. Normally these articles focus all of the attention on management and leadership concepts that you can use to shape your career, improve your performance, and move up the ladder of success. But as we enter a new year it is important to take a step back and make sure that the path you are on is the right path for you.

You see life has a way of just happening to people. Your first job tends to be the job that you were first offered, in an industry that may or may not really interest you, doing what you may or may not have a real talent in. Your career then tends to grow from there. You get promoted or change companies, but tend to stay with what you are familiar with and what you have done in the past. Months turn into years and at some point in time you find that you are on a career path that you never really intended to be on at all. It may be a great, wonderful career path doing all of the things that are important to you, or it may be a path where you have had some successes, but don't find inspiring.

In short, your life has been on autopilot. That is when you know that life has happened to you.

You didn't plan to be where you are. And while you are not unhappy with where you are, you are not happy with it either. It does not speak to your inner being.

The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. - Richard Leider

As you sit down in the coming weeks to plan your new years resolutions, take a few extra minutes to think about where you are in your life and where you are in your career. If you have not made a life plan in the past, start one now. Identify your core values. Identify what is important to you in life and in your career. Figure out were you want to be in 10 years and make sure your current path will take you there.

Your life is a fairy tale, with the journey unscripted. Take control of your life and write your own script. Understand your desires and passions and build a plan for your life that will be a source of happiness and pride. It may be in management and leadership. It may be in the arts. But whatever it is, make sure that you control your life and that your life does not just happen to you.

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How to Stop Daydreaming and Start Living the Life You Truly Want

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”
Madame Marie du Deffand

Maybe the most common issue people have with personal development and making a positive change is that it stays a daydream. That they get excited and inspired.

But then as those positive emotions fade nothing really happens.

Life continues as usual. Your health, finances or your relationship with yourself stays the same.

It’s very frustrating. I know.


I used to read about personal development in pretty much all important areas of life. But it probably took me months or years to get going with making any of those positive changes.

Why?

It was uncomfortable. Making the changes felt so big that is was easier to just kept dreaming about it as frustration built up within.

So what can you do if you get stuck in daydreams? The best solution I have found for starting to make your dreams into reality is to go smaller.

Because grand changes and huge ambitions sound so inspiring and motivating. But they are also scary. So the most important step to get started and to keep going, especially when you are new to personal development, is to remove as much pressure and expectations as you can.

That’s at least what has worked and still works best for me. And in this week’s article I’ll share how to do it in two simple ways.

1. Go for just taking a small step.

I have mentioned this many times. With good reason. It is one of the most effective ways to reduce the pressure and the expectations you may put on yourself and to start moving out of standing still or procrastination.

Now, taking just one small step and focusing on that is for instance a great way to become productive at school or at work.

But it can be used in just about any area in life. If you want to become:
Kinder and improve your relationships then just take one small step by giving someone a genuine compliment.
A better listener then have just one conversation today where you focus as much effort as you can on learning more about the person in front of you. And truly be there as best as you can and nowhere else in your mind.

If you like, then tomorrow you can take the same small action and just focus on that.

If you want to take a first step and get started with something then do it today. Someday so easily becomes never or at least a day several months or years into the future. Don’t make that mistake.

And if the first small step you come up with still seems too big to take then think of an even smaller step. Be kind to yourself in this way and make the start as easy on yourself as you can.

2. Go for just taking care of today.

When you feel overwhelmed, tired and just want to quit or relapse into your old and more negative habits then sit down for a minute.

Breathe.

Then narrow your focus greatly. Don’t look forward because then you’ll see all the things you have to do to reach your goal or to create a new habit.

Instead, go smaller and focus on just taking care of today.

Nothing more. Tomorrow will come in time. And then you will take care of that today too.

I highly recommend keeping this narrow focus a daily thing. Sure, you may have to do some planning. Do that early in the week or day. Then shrink your focus again to make your work and life lighter and more effortless.

Focus on just the small steps and on today and soon you will have travelled quite a distance.

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