Patience, Understanding And Tolerance

Nothing is free and it all comes from somewhere and something. Everything worthwhile takes patience, understanding and tolerance to build. Without those qualities, you or anyone are like the playful grasshopper that cannot build an ant hill, and you just jump around impatiently. Without understanding, combined with that impatience, you end up freezing in the cold with total "I want to have fun in the present" intolerance just like the grasshopper in the old fable about the ant and the grasshopper.

I am not saying be overly cautious and save your whole life for the afterlife, but I am saying that you should make prudent choices that include patience, understanding and tolerance with them and in them. In short: Be rationally flexible and all else will be added to your life ultimately.

Let me go into what I mean by that word "ultimately": I mean the sum total of all your rational actions in existence and consciousness that are for total and completely beneficial to you, not those actions that feed you today and fill your immediate needs now and only now.

Now, that I have told you what I meant by "ultimately", you can breathe a sigh of relief that I am not telling you to save your whole life and future better existence for a "rainy day" and I am not telling you to take a "rain check" on what is currently going on, however undesirable or not ideal it seems.

So, do not lend me your minds, use your mind to make a better now and later out of the past, meaning learn from the past but do not live in it. Take from this article what is valuable and use it in your own life well. I am not an authority, I am not perfect or even great. I simply observe and write down "what is up" with it all realistically. That is it.

Listen, like anyone, I want to be wonderful, great, perfect and all of that at times when I miss the mark, like anyone. But, those times I miss the mark are valuable because I learn to be better and actually end up better. That is tolerance. As for patience and understanding, that is why I put them before the tolerance in the title, because you must have those first to get to tolerance. Indeed, life is as good as we make it through those three things. For, faking it until we make it never works, and it is real cheating anyway. Being real all the way through is where it is at and is "the real easy way" anyway. When you cheat, even if you succeed, what you skipped comes back to haunt you anyway. So, why not be real through genuine patience, understanding and tolerance anyway. The best way is the real way.

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Why You Should Think Long Term to Overcome Immediate Setbacks

Hidden Lessons

It's easier to obsess over setbacks, than to try to play the long game when it comes to life.

After all, obstacles are real while the future is promised to no one.

Disappointments have a way of overpowering you, however, they are just one aspect of your life. The key is to continually move forward and to not become caught up in your problems for too long.

You mustn't allow what is taking place to overshadow your long-term plans. It was Henry Ford who said: "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it."

Like buried treasure, opportunities are hidden in your setbacks if you are willing to look hard enough. Once the anxiety settles, you come to realise the real account emerges.

Life should be measured in its entirety, not by your failures. If you're lucky enough, you will live a long life. So, avoid giving too much attention to your setbacks, since you are likely to bounce back from them.

That is, don't overstate what is taking place. We have a tendency towards a negativity bias which gets the better of us. Yes, your setbacks may be real, but you will overcome them to the best of your ability.

"If you can remember to look at your long-term goals, however, it will help you put setbacks into perspective," affirms author Amy Morin in 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do.

Move your awareness away from negativity and consider the long-term view.

What could be taking place behind the scenes that you are unaware of?

Is there is a hidden lesson contained within the setback?

Self-Control and Discipline

The value of adopting a long-term view is in not taking things too seriously because ultimately it will resolve itself if you are patient.

You must develop a clear picture of your intended future, instead of focusing on the setback.

Obstacles are part of every person's life. Whilst they are difficult to deal with, they allow for vital personal growth for the journey ahead.

You must adopt self-control and discipline to think long-term.

No one knows what the future holds, but if you have a purposeful vision of what it might look like, you can overcome your short term pain.

"Failures, setbacks, bad luck, disasters; they are there to serve you, not hold you back. They toughen you up and drive you to improve. Frustration fuels growth. It gives you the energy and resolve to clean yourself up, get organized, fix what you can, and take the next step," states author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

Long-term thinking helps you appreciate that things will improve and you are never trapped in your present circumstances.

Time tests your inner resolve, your strength of character and your ability to withstand present conditions. Emotional growth occurs when you allow a situation to play out as it should.

It is difficult to take a long-term view because our minds are not accustomed to think far ahead. We are conditioned to deal with what is taking place now and typically have a limited view of tomorrow.

That comes at a cost to our wellbeing, because if we follow this script we are constantly putting out spot fires instead of working on larger goals.

To think long-term, develop an introspective outlook while reviewing your plans for the future.

Imagine Your Proposed Future

Take action however small, whether it be things such as self-reinforcement, affirmations or visualisations. Success is found in the smallest details.

In his book The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life, psychologist and professor at Stanford University, Philip Zimbardo, states there are six time paradoxes that shape our lives:

1. Past-negative

2. Past-positive

3. Present-fatalistic

4. Present-hedonistic

5. Future

6. Transcendental-future

Based on his principles, your relationship with time influences every aspect of your life. So if you dwell on the past, you are less likely to appreciate the present moment and plan for the future.

The key to long term thinking is to imagine your proposed future through the power of your imagination. Focus on the smaller destinations instead of the larger picture.

For example, if your goal is to lose 10 kg (22 lbs) by the end of the year and you are suddenly injured (setback), this will make it difficult to exercise and adhere to your goal.

However, you could focus on the setback or what you can do during this period.

Use this time to fine-tune your nutritional habits by consuming fewer carbohydrates, owing to inactivity. Later, when you can exercise again you are likely to enhance your weight loss due to following sound nutritional habits.

"You need to change your self-talk in order to shift the story you're telling yourself about setbacks and adversity. You need to seek the insight or wisdom in challenging moments," affirms author Adam Markel in Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.

Focus on the Long Game

There is always some action to take however small, to move you forward towards your goals.

Long-term thinking is something I've followed throughout my adult life. Whilst others excelled in individual areas and gained immediate results, I focused on long-term outcomes.

I experience setbacks and obstacles like most others, yet I don't allow it to consume me. When I find myself stuck in a situation, I consider it a minor speed hump in what is a long journey.

I enjoy author Whitney Johnson's view in her book Disrupt Yourself: Putting the Power of Disruptive Innovation to Work: "As I have grappled with my own failures, and as I have watched others dealing with setbacks, I have observed several responses that seem to ameliorate failure, transforming it into a stepping-stone to future success."

That is the framework of this entire piece - using your setbacks as a stepping stone for future success. It is what esteemed Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck calls developing a Growth Mindset.

"Dweck says it's difficult to maintain confidence in a fixed mind-set without distorting the world, such as acting defensively or blaming someone or something else for setbacks," says Peter Sims in Little Bets: How breakthrough ideas emerge from small discoveries.

To overcome a setback, recognise it as a minor process in what is a greater plan unfolding. Deal with what is taking place by all means, but use the lessons to develop a Growth Mindset.

In closing, I invite you to focus on the long game for your life.

That is where the fruit of your labour lies waiting for you to seize it, rather than dwell on your past mistakes.

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7 Simple Things Getting in the Way of Your Win

I am a firm believer that every single person living on this planet is born to win at whatever they put their hand on.

However, most people do not get what they desire out of life, unfortunately.


7 Simple Things Getting in the Way of Your Win

They learn to settle for much less than they want and tell themselves that they are happy with it. And here are 7 things that do get in the way…

1. You Care Too Much About The Opinions Of Others.

Do you sometimes feel like the agendas of other people in your life are coming ahead of yours?


Others may be friends, relatives, co-workers, employees, your children, anyone who seems to hold sway over what you do or do not do. This can be pretty insidious because you may actually convince yourself that it is best to do what they expect of you because that is holy, spiritual, loving.

It can make you feel like a good person, except there is this creeping resentment inside of you that refuses to go away. You feel guilty about that as well.

You want to be good and you want to help people out and you do care that people like you and it all holds you back from going after your own goals.

People do have a right to their opinions but you also have a right to your full expression and your full life. Do not cave under the pressure of trying to keep various people happy. This is your one experience of life, ensure you use it to do the work you are here to do.

2. Not Doing The Work On A Consistent Basis

Whatever goal you have in mind, there will be certain things that need to be done. Are you consistently doing the work or are you allowing your feelings to determine if you get on with the work?

One of the biggest killers of dreams is the inability to stay consistent and to show up day in, day out to do the work whether you feel like it or not. And yet, it is also the simplest thing to get you success.

There may be all kinds of obstacles in your path and yet, if you will simply commit to reaching a baseline activity level each day, you will surprise yourself with how quickly you move forward.

Right now, make a simple list of things that you are committing to doing each and every day.

If you are in business, then it needs to include communicating with your audience, list building and making offers. The list just needs to include the bare minimum things that you absolutely commit to doing daily. Of course, you give yourself permission to do even more on the days when you feel amazing.



Then make a solemn promise to yourself that you will do the work, even when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Then DO IT!


3. Trying To Be Perfect
Perfection is unnecessary and usually a procrastination tactic that gets in the way of you creating the life you desire.

Lots of entrepreneurs spend their time perfecting their product whereas their time would be better spent launching it to the market as soon as minimally viable and then improving it based on actual customer feedback.



Launch as quickly as possible. Correct and adjust based on feedback. Don’t get attached to one way of doing things. Be willing to trial different routes to market and stop waiting for the perfect way to do anything. It does not exist!


4. Self-Doubt

Can I let you into a secret?

Self-doubt is a choice. I know you may have felt helpless to change it but it really is your choice.

Self-doubt is a rehearsed response to life and its difficulties and you can simply choose to rehearse a different response. No, it is not easy but it is simple to do. Choose to check yourself whenever random negative thoughts present themselves to you and turn it around to something more positive.

I sometimes get my clients to hourly write out an ‘I AM’ list with all their positive qualities as well as all the things they are choosing to be.

This elevates their mood and they are able then to act from a place of power for at least the next 60 minutes before they do it again. After a few days/weeks of doing this, their brain is retrained towards self-belief.

You can try it for yourself. Set the timer on your phone for 60 minutes and do it.


5. Giving Up At Obstacles

Napoleon Bonaparte said “I see only my objective – the obstacles must give way.”Okay, Napoleon is not necessarily known for being nice and kind but that quote is relevant to this point and to all successful people.

In life and business, as you go for your objectives, you will have obstacles. You can be sure of it! The question is: Will they defeat you or will you defeat them? Obstacles are not roadblocks unless you make them so.

There is only way to fail – you quit – and there are many, many ways to succeed. Find your route to the win!


6. No Clarity Of Purpose

Do you actually know what you want? Clearly? Lots of people don’t!

They are experiencing goal fatigue where they give up on setting goals because it feel futile to wish for things to improve and so they settle into a life that goes nowhere and they try to ignore their boredom.

You, however, know you are born for more and so, you need to keep the vision clearly at the top of your mind. Write down your goals daily, write down your big vision regularly, write down how you choose to show up in the world.

Get clear! Define what a win means to you and refuse to back down until it is present in your world.


7. Focus on the Past

You cannot focus on the past and at the same time, create a better future. Your past has happened, it is done. There may be a few lessons to learn but really, you can draw a line under the sand and start creating a new future now. It really is your choice.

You can write out what you want to create and choose who you need to be to get that chosen future and right now, in this moment, choose to be that person until it becomes natural to you. Do it now!

As the saying goes, “Stop looking back, that is not the way you are headed”
Summary

If you will handle these 7 things, you will be much closer to winning at whatever you set your mind and heart to.


Are these things getting in the way of your win? Leave a comment below.

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